The 08S6H Review: January 21st
(1/21/2009 10:06:00 PM)
2009 Budget Revealed: Expect taxation to increase.JENNIBURG - In the 2009 State of the Dominion Address, HRH JWS has announced that in order to cope with increasing expenditure in the Budget, last totaling $1.5 Billion, as well as shortfalls in funding, taxation will be increased so as to "ensure increased productivity"
While unveiling the budget, HRH noted that tough times have come to the Dominion, and sacrifices will be required from all. Pointing to the decrease in the HRH stipend from $100000 a month to $99999 a month, she extemporized the immense impact of the current global financial crisis, stating that she now cannot afford to buy 10 $10000 Prada handbags as well as feast on caviar, abalone and premier crab roe daily, leading to her suffering from stupendous weight loss equivalent to 1 kg. When questioned further, the HRH doused critique that she was not willing to sacrifice, explaining that she had reduced her insect quashing allowance, fanning allowance, driving allowance, consumption allowance, Strepsils allowance, humor allowance and last but not least, slave allowance by the humongous figure of 0.1%.
However, plebeians need not fear, as in a bid to stimulate the economy, the Dominion has launched a massive $1 Billion stimulus package, such as the allocation of $900 Million for the procurement as well as construction of gold statues of all the Royalty. Justifying the measure, HRH commented "With the grandiose 10 m height of the statues, hardworking peasants can now garner inspiration even when they work right in the heart of Jenniburg, busily fanning HRH while the brave and noble knights of the Dominion toil to construct these structures."
Also, in an unexpected move, the HRH has also for the first time in the history of the Dominion allocated $100 Million for the welfare and development of the Queen's Advisor, MOSAT, including a $50 Million research facility with all the best mentors (Whom actually promptly reply to emails),the designation of a personal slave to erase and ensure that all things under the sun are in agreement with MOSAT's tastes, tutoring services and last but not least, tutoring services if required.Noting the increased difficulty of studies this year, the HRH noted that investing in MOSAT's education "will bring about huge positive externalities as well as increase the Queen's welfare. Besides, if MOSAT wins a Nobel Prize, we will be able to retire comfortably for the rest of our lifetimes...", as MOSAT furiously wiped off the drool spilling over the podium.
Unfortunately, to finance such expenses, taxes will be doubled from $50,000,000 to $100,000,000. On the urgency of the matter, the HRH screamed " WHOEVER DARES TO NOT PAY MY TAXES CAN FAN AND PLEASE ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!....", as yours truly was blown off from the collapsing Auditorium.
In a hastily convened press conference, the Royal Consort extended his profound apologies for the HRH's absence, as she had subsequently suffered from a sore throat. However, he reassured everyone that the Royal Family is truly in touch with the concerns of the middle class, as provisions will be made for peasants to eat cake in times of famine.
Citizens comment on the 2009 Budget
"I will seriously enjoy
"Why ME? I'm so noob lor. I definitely will not fulfill the HRH's expectations..."
"The HRH is inaccurate to state that MOSAT will win a Nobel Prize. Rather, he will win MULTIPLE Nobel Prizes"
"The treasury think they very cute is it harh? "
"What??!*Scream*"
"The person above just broke her New Year Resolution for the nth time..."
"The nature of this tax increase, remains indeterminate.....Umm...where was I?"