On SMTP-or, so I was bored, ok?
(12/12/2008 05:49:00 PM)
Disclaimer: The following view(s) espoused below are neither official nor authoritative. Should any form of harm result from the reading and the following of the advice stated below, this author will not be held responsible. (That said, if you think it was absolutely wonderful and you'd like to make a donation, this author is pleased to make the necessary arrangements.)Disclaimer 2: This does not even promise to present a representative view of people in SMTP. Unless otherwise stated, it should be assumed that all descriptions are of 6h people and trends. It is also worth noting that all this article should promise is that this author is currently feeling deranged enough to present a long rant on events and trends that may or may not exist.
The following is dedicated to those who want to know more about SMTP, be it juniors who are bored enough to surf the net for alternate sources of information, or other people who are just bored and are going to a blog that has been abandoned for at least half a month.
First. For an official and thoroughly verified version of the facts, http://www.hci.sg/newsEvents/c1/c1-moe.htm#smtp is a far better source. This is just to show how well we apply what we learn in school (insert sanctimonious smile here).
Here, I will probe the true meaning of the acronym SMTP.
S-Sleeping
Sadly for the image we are supposed to uphold, sleeping is one of our greatest hobbies. The level of accomplishment attained by the general population of 6h is astounding, ranging from all-terrain sleeping to ninja sleeping.
That said, it seems that the members of 6h have already attained the highest possible level of sleeping, which might shed some light as how to the newest SMTP craze, otherwise known as scandalling came about. This author hypothesises that members of SMTP (and this time I really mean all of SMTP) have managed to integrate across the gap between the conscious and the unconscious, and are thus vocalize their dreams without activating their truth-verifying and logic centers. Such is its popularity, in fact, that it has been proposed that SMTP be henceforth known as the Scandal-Mongering Talent Programme. Do not worry- this will be explored in greater depth later.
Mugging
I won't deny it- after all, mugging is an integral part of JC life. A few hours (days for major exams) before a test, the pressure is really turned on, resulting in a horrifying increase (in accordance with the Maxwell-Boltzmann distribution of molecules) in the frenzied activity of students in an attempt to form meaningful complexes with information. In this event, collisions with tables are sometimes observed due to the random nature of movement.
Thankfully, our mugging is made quite a lot easier by the presence of our catalyst -another M-MOSAT. Having attained the highest level of enlightenment after countless hours of meditation, almost no question can faze him, much to the relief of the population of 6h. (I suppose I should include a certain LKY, but then another LKY might protest and accuse me of being factually inaccurate.)
Much to the chagrin of our teachers, however, once the promos pass, some/most/almost all of us happily do a 'MEM clear' on our brains, and cease to include the M word in our active vocabularies. Well, until next year, at least...
Talking
Our number-one hobby. Theoretical justification suggests that the act of creating verbal bonds releases energy in the form of sound. It is also highly possible that other forms of electrical signals may have been released in the act of some forms of talking. Strangely, while you would expect the effects of accelerated heartbeats and blood pressures to be localized in the students involved, it seems that teachers are somehow susceptible to the same effects.This might explain why almost all of our tutors are not teaching us next year-presumably the school wants to ensure that none of their teachers suffer from elevated blood pressures for *too* long a time.
The latter (investigation in the different electrical signals transmitted) has been of the greatest interest to the students of SMTP. For the sake of simplicity, such research has been lumped under the category of scandals. To the knowledge of this author, the enthusiasm for speculation has been such that everyone (at least in 6h) has been involved in a scandal at some point or another. At one point, it got so bad that a conversation could go 'eh, so-and-so doesn't have a scandal yet, right? Let's try and find one for him/her'.
In fact, this propensity to scandal can be found in all parts of SMTP, possibly after the importance of intra-SMTP bonding was made known to us all. This has led to further developments of mechanisms in *organic* chemistry, such as Yi-lectrophilic substitution (the details of which I shall leave to the involved parties to describe).
Plebeians
Now we turn to the unique nature of governance in SMTP.
Each of the classes in SMTP has their own overlord, be it the HRH of 6h or the Supreme Dictator (and also rumour-mongerer) of 6k. They generally enjoy the unquestioned loyalty and adoration of their subjects (please see the 08s6h class blog for more details of said worship in the case of HRH. One particularly good example is the HRH cheer)
Sadly, however, despite their unquestioned dominance in the mortal realm, their status is still beneath that of our gods. The one of most pertinence to the commoners of SMTP, though, is that of our Judge Sam Lee of SMTP. Evidence of him exercising his power, though, remains scant. To date, there is only one case of him summoning the humble plebeians of SMTP to the high court of E205, where poetic justice was to have been exacted upon us all. (For more details, refer to the archives of the respective class blogs involved.)Strangely, his intentions *do* seem to have been fulfilled by the current extreme display of unity amongst the SMTP classes (even if said unity has been brought about by making innocent people the butt of vile rumours), suggesting that the powers of Gods are not for the comprehension of the mundane.