A talisman against insanity and zombies.

(8/07/2008 07:51:00 PM)

I hate to break promises, but unfortunately things have turned out against my will.

Lets start somewhere shall we? Recently (By that I mean the before the Cambridge trip), people have been mutating into zombies that are only capable of mutterring hated 4 letter words starting with B (no, not 5 letter words).

Epidemiology

The author unanimously agrees with himself that the sole cause of this zombie infestation is due to post withdrawal, where due to the author deciding to take a break, former post addicts find that their sad depraved/deprived lives lack meaning and thus lose hope in life. This results in the process known as zombification, where addicts constantly bug the author into posting, leading to insanity and productive inefficiency.

Synopsis of Events

This has resulted in the author being harrassed daily, including:
  • The daily receiving of a standard message by Zombie No.1 Lam Keat Ying, whose standard message includes the dreaded 4 letter word.

E.g:

As of tonight, the clock is ticking. And when it sent 8/4/2008 8:40 PM:
I'm going to bugg you
As of tonight, the clock is ticking. And when it sent 8/4/2008 8:40 PM:
you betta BLOG
As of tonight, the clock is ticking. And when it sent 8/4/2008 8:40 PM:
B
As of tonight, the clock is ticking. And when it sent 8/4/2008 8:40 PM:
Lo
As of tonight, the clock is ticking. And when it sent 8/4/2008 8:40 PM:
G
As of tonight, the clock is ticking. And when it sent 8/4/2008 8:40 PM:
B
As of tonight, the clock is ticking. And when it sent 8/4/2008 8:40 PM:
L
As of tonight, the clock is ticking. And when it sent 8/4/2008 8:40 PM:
O
As of tonight, the clock is ticking. And when it sent 8/4/2008 8:40 PM:
G
As of tonight, the clock is ticking. And when it sent 8/4/2008 8:40 PM:
BLOG

You get the drift... It gets VERY IRRITATING after awhile

  • The repeated receiving of invites to said activity every other day. This was done again by Zombie No.1 . This had the effect of clogging up my inbox with unnecessary messages.

Surprisingly, this was somewhat tolerable till the days prior the Cambridge trip, when said zombies realised that not only would they be able to see their fellow addicts, they would have nothing to relieve them during their 2 week stay. This lead to them stepping up their campaign several notches....

  • Constant verbal harrassment regarding said activity. By constant I literally mean constant. At the height of the campaign this could mean debating about the merits and demerits of said activity every hour. This was very taxing to the author, whom having never joined the debating team and was used to a quaint, quiet reclusive lifestyle without handphones (Please thank the heavens for that, I cannot imagine constant SMSes/calls in the middle of the night regarding this), was now subject to a daily barrage of questions.
  • This campaign went online too, with constant queries and pleas about this topic. To prevent this from occurring, the author experimented with the non-usage of Windows Messenger.

This came to an head on Monday, where the former addicts became full fledged zombies. With their dry lips and outstretched arms, they came, I saw, I ran.

They spent the entire day mutterring the much hated word, which by then had became a miniature cult devoted to the utterance of the holy word "BLOG" (The author on the other hand thinks that this word should be banned), for which to them would bring world peace, solve their maths tutorials and satisfy their every demand. It was as though the only word left in the English Dictionary was that unspeakable word. Such temerity! By this time the author had regarded that unholy word like swear words.

Then came that horrific Economics Lecture on Monday, or rather its aftermath. Faced with their last time to plead their case for 2 weeks, the zombies encircled the helpless author and practically begged him to do said unspeakable activity. Surrounded, the author fought his way out of this encirclement, but was held back by plaintive crys, decrepit arms and horrific screams. The author managed to escape this death trap, but was as a result chased around the Central Plaza by the pursuing marauders. The battle was ended only when the author sought the strategic refuge of the canteen.

This caused significant mental trauma equivalent to that by a single rampaging GK, which is actually a rather significant achievement, albeit not exactly positive.

And thus the author managed a pyrrhic victory. It was certain that such a battle was not to be fought ever again. However the author expected that the campaign would practically end after the plane departed for Britain and thus sought solace in such facts.

The Führer of the newly formed Zombie Republic however sowed the seeds for constant guerilla warfare, constantly instigating hapless students to bug this author and doing some of this by herself over the internet (Highlighting the negative impacts of globalization).

Amidst all this emotional trauma, the author then came to realise that by transporting off all the zombies to the UK, the UK would in effect be taken over by invading zombies, which other than making for great Hollywood material, would also mean that the author would be subjected to global harrassment.

Thus the author has reached to today's conclusion.

Analysis

It has never been an great idea to feed addictions, and it is to my regret that I have been forced to such an unenviable position. However the author fears for his sanity much more, especially given this imminent threat. Thus the author has backed down from this position. Leading to this crazed message of surrender to the Führer:


I GIVE UP
. says:
HAPPY???
. says:
YOU CAN FINALLY STOP SPAMMING ME!
. says:
STOP!
. says:
STOP!

SO STOP BUGGING ME!!!!!!

*author driven to insanity*

by Indeterminate