(8/18/2008 07:49:00 PM)
The much awaited Date with Sara finally took place!
Image 1: The event banner, accompanied by an mysterious female character.
Lowly plebeians of 08S6H were unable to contain their excitement regarding this strange character.
Image 2: Interested plebians in unnatural positions while the Court Slave hopes to see the unknown person when she opens her eyes.
However, the date took a bit long to begin, and with the unknown persona nowhere in sight, the miserable peasants were left in an unbearable frenzy.
Image 3: The royal consort looking high and low for the mysterious lover after waiting an interminably long period. It seems like he has become sick of HRH JWS's royal tantrums and has decided to seek for a much more exciting yet tamer love of his life.
The appointed hour did come eventually, and she was escorted to 08S6H on a royal platter.
Image 4: Impatient peasants tearing up the gift wrap to devour and solve this mystery once and for all.
Horror of horrors, it was discovered that the long awaited person was not actually a person but a rather a cake! Of all things! It was shocking to peasants unused to the prospect of marrying a cake.
Image 5: Hi! I'm Sara Lee. I'm young, hot, dark, sexy and nubile! Best of all, I weigh only 500 grams! Dont you wish you were slim like me?
The peasants tried to console themselves by trying to make it seem as human as possible.
Images 6, 7, 8: The humanoid cake in various stages of completion.
However, the lowly peasants eventually gave in to their inner desires, and thus started to maim the cake as well as the surroundings as basic instinct took over.
Image 9: A scarred Sara Lee, who screamed like HRH JWS as her lipstick and foundation melted and pimples started to emerge from her previously soft and smooth skin.
Image 10: Famished plebians tearing apart the last of Sara Lee and her twins.
In other news, in yet another indications of the troubles gripping the kingdom, reports of green scaly dragons (GSDs) have reached this reporter. The brave Court Jester and Court Slave have reported that the GSDs are capable of devouring whole legs.
Image 11: The Court Jester and Slave trying to extricate their feet from the mess. The entire process took an hour and required extensive medical treatment.
As of 18th August, a GSD Warning has been issued to the provinces in the Right Wing and the agrarian heartland of the canteen. A GSD Warning means that sightings of the venomous and large GSD and associated fire breathing will be experienced by people living in these areas within the next 48 hours. All preparations and evacuations to protect life and property should be rushed to completion, including placing homework in safe locations so as to prevent cliche excuses such as " The GSD ate my homework up".
A GSD Watch is in effect for the provinces in the left wing and the capital of the Dominion of 08S6H. A GSD Watch means that encounters with large GSD may occur within the next 48 hours.
As of 10.30 PM , the GSDs were last sighted to be within the agrarian heartland, within no appreciable motion and a dimension of 50 cm x 50 cm x 50 cm. Affected interests should also consult with your local Dragon Center to obtain the latest information.
Also, the moon was almost consumed during August 16, as the previous curse on the moon by aspiring witches/wizards in 08S6H took its effect. It was rather shocking to see that other than being your cute innocent little chemical clocks that change colour periodically, mixtures of malonic acid, hydrogen peroxide, starch, manganese (II) sulphate and potassium iodate would actually cause the moon to be swallowed by malevolent spirits that not even the usual banging on pots and pans would stop.
Thankfully, the timely intervention of HRH JWS saved the day, as the earthshaking screams emitted was capable of scaring spirits away.
That concludes The 08S6H Review. The photos of associated Moon consumption by evil spirits will be shown on a later date as GSDs unfortunately singed the photographs.
by Indeterminate
