Post No. 2 on how SMTP we are.
(3/17/2008 07:53:00 PM)
Firstly, before I dedicate this post to how wonderful our class has been, I must first thank Xin Rong for thinking that my first 3 posts were the best, especially since I have only posted 4 times (5 if you count this one). However, sadly to say (and defying Economics by the way) , my production is always long term, since no factor of production (FOP) is ever fixed, as you would surely agree if you analyse them:- Typical Lameness of Class Index (TLCI). This index varies daily, dependent on several triggers like the presence of some people (which should not be elaborated upon for fear of retribution, but I'm sure you can think of some people whose Typical Lameness is *underexaggeration* above average), number of people present, random environmental factors and presence of catalysts like a camera to list a few.
- Lame Event Occurences (LEOs). Typically once every few days or so, but more importantly, the magnitude of these LEOs vary significantly, ranging from ordinary to mega super colossal cataclysmically stupid events that would make you feel like suiciding after learning that you missed them. Thankfully I have yet to hear of one yet.
- Time. The most important yet underrated FOP. Time itself depends on amount of homework, forgetfulness of the writer, number of distractions present such as nice comfy beds etc. More importantly, without time, posts cannot be thought out in time.
So what does this mean? Basically, my posts sometimes become rather rare, as reduction in the FOPs cause the supply curve of inspiration to shift left, causing derived supply of posts to shift left.
Moving on to my intention of the day. Some of you might recall my first post, in which I expounded on the class having extraodinary sleeping abilities and their relation to theoretical physics. Now we shall now move on to the most commented ability of our class which I feel is best defined by Answers.com so as to illustrate the broad range of this ability. (Please scroll down to avoid information overload)
- v.tr.
To articulate (words): The baby is talking sentences now.
To give expression to in words: talk treason.
To speak of or discuss (something): talk music; talk business;
To speak or know how to speak in (an idiom or language): talked French with the flight crew.
To gain, influence, or bring into a specified state by talking: talked me into coming; talked their way out of trouble.
To spend (a period of time) by or as if by talking: talked the evening away.
- v.intr.
To converse by means of spoken language: We talked for hours. See synonyms at speak.
To articulate words: The baby can talk.
To imitate the sounds of human speech: The parrot talks.
To express one's thoughts or emotions by means of spoken language: talked about the pros and cons of the issue.
To convey one's thoughts in a way other than by spoken words: talk with one's hands.
To express one's thoughts in writing: Voltaire talks about London in this book.
To parley or negotiate with someone: Let's talk before continuing to fight.
To spread rumors; gossip: If you do that, people will talk.
To allude to something: Are you talking about last week?
To consult or confer with someone: I talked with the doctor.
To reveal information concerning oneself or others, especially under pressure: Has the prisoner talked?
Informal. To be efficacious: Money talks.
- n.
An exchange of ideas or opinions; a conversation.
A speech or lecture.
Hearsay, rumor, or speculation: There is talk of bankruptcy.
A subject of conversation: a musical that is the talk of the town.
A conference or negotiation. Often used in the plural: peace talks.
Jargon; slang: prison talk.
Empty speech or unnecessary discussion: much talk and no action.
A particular manner of speech: baby talk; honeyed talk.
Something, such as the sounds of animals, felt to resemble human talk: whale talk.
So what is it? You guessed it: TALKING! It appears that not only do we live with passion, we TALK with passion. However this talking mechanism has been poorly understood due to the varied dispositions of random human subjects from abusive and loud to meek and soft.
Thankfully, after several weeks of following the scientific method, which included but was not limited to investigation, collecting data and detailed observation of subjects in the act of opening their mouths, I am proud to say that I have enough data to derive a preliminary report. However, do not be mistaken by the word preliminary. I advise those not comfortable with excessie information to read at your own risk.
The mechanism of talking
This mechanism usually first involves the meeting of two or more subjects. At far distances, eac subject behaves as though the other was not present.
As the two subjects, A and B approach however, the intersubject distance decreases, causing an overlap of personal spaces. This results in the formation of a resultant group personal space between A and B. This causes a decrease in the potential energy, due to the inherent disposition of humans to dislike the feeling of solitude, despite its many benefits. This causes the subjects to exert mutual attractive intersubject forces at each other, which is transmitted through various mediators of force, the most notable of which is the Hi XXX! (XXX does not imply obscene acts that would breach local laws regarding outrage of public modesty in this context) carrier, which is capable of travelling far distances.
Anyway, the attractions continue to draw the subjects closer and the system continues to decrease in potential energy. Following the Law of Conservation of Energy though, this decrease of energy is emitted in the form of sound. This sound is due to the oral cavity and vocal chords vibrating at resonant frequancies. This sound exerts an force on the other subject. Following Newton's 3rd Law, in which whenever a particle A exerts a force on another particle B, B simultaneously exerts a force on A with the same magnitude in the opposite direction, we see that A has to move towards B. Similarly, B also moves towards A.
As A and B approach however, repulsive forces become significant. Not only do they involve the Pauli Exclusion Principle, other factors like the electromagnetic repulsion of electron clouds in skin cells of A to electron clouds in skin cells of B and the overriding forces of soical propriety mean that at some optimum intersubject distance, the maximum attraction is achieved when the repulsive forces cannot overcome the attractive forces. The resultant system has its minimum energy at this point, and a vocal bond, otherwise known as a conversation, begins with a sharing of information, otherwise better organized as topics.
Topics in Conversations
However, the vocal bonds are not just simply an indisciminate sharing of information. Subtle rules and affinities determine which topics are subjects of a vocal bond. A general formula to note is that non private information tends to have an higher energy and thus tend to be in the valence shell of information shared. Following from this, we can infer that extremely high nth Ionization Energies are required before the subject gives up his inner core of private information. However, extroverted subjects tend to be highly infopositive, and readily give up copious amounts of information for relatively low energies supplied. In Economics language, the marginal cost of output is relatively low. However, note that the Law of Decreasing Marginal Returns applies to all subjects.
A short list of Topics often commented by subjects is attached here. IF you actually survived to this portion of the post, it may be advisable to close this unresponsive window by pressing CTRL+ALT+DELETE and clicking End Process for your unresponsive browser. Scrolling down further would not only cause further untold harm to your precious nerve cells causing premature ageing, it will also waste even more time, which means a high Opportunity Cost is being incurred.
Now to this list. Note that this list is by no means exhaustive:
- Gossip
- Mas Selamat Kastari Escape theories and possible locations. (Your loyal writer thinks he quantum tunnelled out of the toilet through the toilet bowl)
- Sleeping tips
- Gossip
- Dieting tips
- PE locations
- Lessons and associated comments
- Gossip
- The infernal upcoming tests.
- Homework problems
- Studying ahead (A typical characteristic of the subject that is also the serving beside the CT rep)
- Gossip
- Associated infernal VA(insert nth positive integer here), a favourite subject that is noticed by our Maths tutor.
- Sleeping tips
- HuangCheng Withdrawal symptoms
- Gossip
- Recollection of past events
- Reading and rereading books and their discussions
- Did I say Gossip?
- Scandals which could I could expound till the end of time and hell goes cold. However, we should note that 99% of all scandals involve Guo Kai. If these rumours are true as claimed, somehow he has an entire clique of attracted orbiting subjects, probably defying the octet rule. I'm not claiming that the veracity of these rumours is doubtful though, we learnt today about 'Expansion of Octet', which is possible given Guo Kai's big size.
- My finite brain and my finite FOPs mean that I should stop here and summarise the above for fear of blasting my computer apart and creating triple walking thermonuclear blasts in the form of my parents and my head. Perhaps Xin Rong could pick up from here?
Applications
The applications of this discovery are enormous. We now can better quantify how truly incredulous 08S6H's talking abilities are, though this has not received serious consideration currently.
- Talking in all inertial frames
- Talking in most known moving frames
- Talking despite the presence of inhibitors like teachers
- Talking at immense volumes that the tables vibrate. Studies are being taken to measure whether the walls or even the entire school vibrates.
- Talking at such immense quantities to noticeably divert the course of GP discussions away from doing worksheets to scandals.
From points 1 and 2, we can see that 08S6H's talking abilities exceed that of its already tremendous sleeping abilities. A potential application of this is the use of vocal bonds to harass criminals and divert their attention away from theft and other crimes and onto information sharing. This could lead to a massive reformation program that could significantly reduce the local prison population and associated crime incidence.
Also, useful work could be done from the massive sonic radiation emitted by 08S6H. Uses include but are not limited to power generation and demolition work.
In short, 08S6H is a class that exudes sonic radiation in all 3 spatial dimensions, ensuring that its members live happily with passion while sometimes frustrating tutors and lecturers whom find it hard to form vocal bonds in such a highly energetic environment.
PS: If you have noticed, I have derived this partially from an integration of Chemistry and Economics with respect to Chemical Bonding and Cost Theory notes. This reflects the fact that WE ARE HAVING A CHEM TEST TOMORROW! ILLUSTRATING THAT WE CAN PANIC WITH PASSION TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!